Purely & Graciously His

March 6, 2019 by Jennifer Moodie    "God, I can't take this any more! I hate my life and my marriage. I don't know if I believe in you. I feel powerless to earn your love and favor, and I feel too wicked to be forgiven. My sins are too great to ever be forgotten by you! I feel beyond your redemption and grace and love. I can't keep living like this! I can't be good enough for your salvation! I am too far gone!"  I cried out while attempting to fold my laundry through the tears. My earbuds were in and music was playing as I was pondering what I had just read on the medical side of the crucifixion of Christ.  I had grown up in a Christian home, heard the stories of the cross, and watched The Passion. I knew it in my head. My tender heart toward other's suffering had made hearing/seeing those things difficult, but it had never seemed to apply to me , to my sins, because I had never seen myself as a truly sinful person. Sure, I disobeyed my parent

March 6, 2019 by Jennifer Moodie   "What if we could sleep with others, but it not be 'affairs'? What if we didn't have to go behind each other's back to have fun? What if we did it together? Then, I could see what I've been missing, and you could be with other guys?"  This proposal hit me like a ton of bricks. I was on the verge of an affair anyway, so it was actually almost a relief to hear him say that my sleeping with someone else wouldn't bother him. It actually made me happy in a twisted sort of way.     I had been in a state of despair. I loved my husband, but hated being his wife. I was weary of his emotional and verbal abuse, and I had a love/hate relationship with the bedroom. I wanted out but knew that divorce wasn't an option. I knew that if I left, it would bring shame on my family, and they would never permit me to remarry. getting outside help wasn't really an option as my husband didn't see the need. He

March 1, 2019 by Jennifer Moodie         I rolled over in bed and silently sobbed into my pillow. My husband of only a few hours was blissfully asleep on the other side of the large king sized bed. My body ached and I felt like I had come down with the flu. I was feeling so many emotions and none of them were good.     It was my wedding night. It was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life. I had waited for this night for so many years. I had dreamed of this day since I was a little girl. My wedding day. But it turned out to be nothing like I had hoped or dreamed. My heart was shattered and I was glad we had a king bed that allowed for me to not have to have physical contact with the man to whom I had just vowed to spend the rest of my life.     So many things had gone wrong leading up to this day. First off, this was not the night I had lost my virginity. That had happened months ago. When my parents found out, we were told we had to get married and asap. Nev

    by Jennifer Moodie    The whole premise of what I just said in the previous post  (which is just a sliver of the nasty pie), is often what is referred to as The Purity Culture. Very simply put, it is the idea that your identity is wrapped up in your virginity. It is the idea that improper sexuality (sex outside of the confines of marriage) is the sin of all sins. Besides the obvious slap in the face to the Gospel that that is, it incites a sense of pride and self focus. It keeps others comparing themselves among themselves and gives many a sense of pride in their own accomplishments. I know many who have held up the fact that they didn't even hold hands or kiss before their wedding day as a sort of trophy. Those women were immediately brought in to teach at the ladies conference. I wanted to do what they did to get the attention they got. Not out of a sense of honoring God, but to get the attention of those around me. This teaching kept me constantly focused on my imag

February 26, 2019 By Jennifer Moodie      I want to have a disclaimer before I even start. God is clear in His Word that sex is to be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage. It is right to teach abstinence before marriage . It is right to teach that adultery is abominable. I don’t want to diminish the heart behind what became known as The Purity Culture.       I was thinking to start out by talking about how the many of the teachings on sex, purity, gender roles, and modesty-Purity Culture- negatively affected my life and marriage. I may get there eventually, but decided that it would be advantageous to start with the root problem, and not the fruit. See, Purity Culture isn’t the problem. It is a result of the problem. The real problem is that too many churches have stopped preaching the true gospel, or haven’t ever taught it to begin with. The Purity Culture is an effect of a lack of true Gospel teaching.  Bear with me as I try to explain what I mea