by Jennifer Moodie

8/12/2022

Jesus Over Gender Roles

Books and articles on the topic of men and women or marriage almost exclusively discuss authority/leading/masculinity for men and submission/femininity for women. The gospel isn’t framed as being enough, we need to push roles as well. Because the fruit of the spirit apparently need to be explained in a gendered manner so we don’t have men who are too meek and women who are not meek enough. The Holy Spirit working in each of us isn’t enough, we need to push our ideology to make sure we are in line with…the Bible…the Spirit....or.....? We can’t really rely on God and the Holy Spirit to work without also making sure He is using us to tell you how to live.

It is just another brand of legalism. Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is legalism rebranded.

How can we simultaneously have men seemingly unable to control their thoughts and need women to cover their bodies to keep them from lusting, who need sex regularly to keep from affairs and porn and to help them be nice to their wives, and who require unconditional respect or they won’t love their wives correctly, “preparing women for Jesus”? It all just seems so...off.

Do a google search or search on Pinterest something like "How to be a Godly/good wife" and you will see more links than I care to think about all on the topic of submission, women's emotions, how not to be offended when your husband is unkind, and oh. so. many. articles on sex. So many. One would think that all it takes to be a good wife is to be submissive in all things and to have lots and lots of sex...but it doesn't matter if the woman enjoys it. The sex is for the husband. Perhaps I will do a different post on this topic so as not to hijack this one. But it is really a relevant problem.

I am not egalitarian in the sense that I believe women can be pastors or elders. I do not affirm this and I believe scripture is pretty clear on that. But I am just so sick of gender roles. I would like to not hear of them in a positive light ever again. And I firmly believe that complementarianism is founded on heresy and is simply patriarchy rebranded. And I no longer am afraid to say that.

When you have a teaching where the very foundation is men in authority, men having veto power over women in marriage, and men requiring respect and submission from women- where does it end? Because even Piper himself has said that a woman should submit to abuse for a time and should be careful in how she gives directions to a man so as not to undermine his masculinity. Authority and submission become the focal point of this teaching and it has heavy implications. (Yes. I am aware that there is also teaching to love wives. However, when you don’t have THAT as the center for the teaching but rather a side note to “men lead, women submit”, it can easily become lost in the chaos that is what is most heavily taught.)

Some argue that men and women are different ontologically, and some try to say that we aren’t, but when gender roles and differences are so heavily pushed and taught as being a part of the very essence of our being, then that is essentially saying men and women are ontologically different. One cannot be true without the other. It is dishonest to say “men and women are equal, but are male and female to the very essence of their being, and our sex is part of our ontology”. If sex is part of our ontology, and men and women are different in the very essence of our being, then how is Jesus coming as a male sufficient for saving females? Because females are different from males to the very essence of our being- that is to say we are ontologically different. So it cannot be that Jesus coming as a male is sufficient for saving males and females. He would have to then come as a woman to save women. That is, unless we aren’t so very different after all and are first and foremost human who happen to be men and women, and not men and women who happen to be human. Male and female are not ontological categories.

https://twitter.com/ostrachan/status/1396861752130875400?s=19.

*Strachan is the former president of CBMW

- Generally Ontology is the science of being. Men and women are ontologically human, but I would disagree that we are ontologically male and female. In our humanity we are male and female, but that isn't defining the very essence of our being.

This article from Desiring God, while I don't actually disagree with the majority of it, says that male and female are 'ontological categories'. And I find that to be dangerous. Animals and humans are ontological categories. Angels and humans are ontological categories. But male and female are the same ontological category- human.

“Genesis 1:27 conveys an undeniable connection between “the image of God” and the ontological categories of male and female. This verse consists of three lines of poetry, with the second and third lines structured in parallel, communicating a correlation between God’s image and “male and female.”

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

Being created in the image of God and being male or female are essential to being human. Sex (male and female) is not simply biological or genetic, just as being human is not simply biological or genetic. Sex is first and foremost a spiritual and ontological reality created by God. Being male or female cannot be changed by human hands; sex is a category of God’s handiwork — his original and everlasting design.”

He Made Them Male and Female: Sex, Gender, and the Image of God | Desiring God

This post shows more of my thoughts as well as a prominent teacher who believes that sanctification is gendered, and why I disagree. Sanctification, and the fruit of the Spirit is not gendered.

And if being masculine and feminine are tied to more than just our biology, and our gender expression must match our biology (in arbitrary ways such as what is pushed by the comp concept of biblical manhood and womanhood), then if one expresses interest in or displays traits not 'in line with' their gender, doesn't that then force them to have the only option to be the other gender? This is confusing in a time of much legitimate gender confusion. I personally believe that this constant push for gender roles and gender stereotypes isn't actually helping fight against the trans ideology, but is rather muddying the waters and furthering the cause, causing more and more youth from Christian homes into the trans community. Because we are actually teaching people that they can express their gender in ways contrary to their biology. But then we make fun of the trans community for doing just that... It seems disconnected in my mind. I firmly believe that if we preach Christ and offer the means of grace, that the Holy Spirit will do the work in us to make us the Christian we need to be, regardless of if we are teaching some arbitrary push for 'biblical masculinity or femininity'. Do we believe the Holy Spirit will work or not? Do we trust Him or do we need to help Him out?

This blog post will have little to no more of my thoughts, but simply resources. Blog posts, quotes and articles from those who hold to Complementarianism or modern patriarchy. I will be adding to this as I find relevant links.

*I would like to say up front that I am doing this to show that while not everyone who uses the title "Complementarian" would hold to ESS or ontological differences (meaning in our very nature or essence of being) between men and women, the very teaching of Complementarianism is founded on both. So to not hold to them is to actually not be a good Complementarian. 😉

_____________________________________________________________________________________

John Piper and Wayne Grudem coined the term Complementarianism in 1988 as a response to feminism. It, and the book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and subsequently the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW), were written and formed to uphold the Danvers Statement.

Piper defines masculinity as “a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Femininity he defines as “a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” In this article, author Denny Burke says that they chose not to use the term "biblical patriarchy" because feminists had hijacked the term and given it too much baggage. What's In A Name? Burke also wrote an article explaining all of this entitled, Mere Complementarianism.

More on Patriarchy and Complementarianism-

(Side Note: Grudem also wrote a Systematic Theology book that is used to teach Seminary and Bible College students. This Trinitarian heresy is in that book.)

Piper and Grudem write plainly in their book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, that they base the authority of men and submission of women on creation order and the Trinity. They claim that because Jesus submits (and eternally submits) to the Father, women, too, submit to men. The download of the book provided at the link above, pages 120-122 clearly lay out their thoughts of the Trinity, which is Eternal Subordination of the Son (ESS), which they try to say is Eternal Functional Subordination of the Son (EFSS). They are very clear that they are using this as a foundation for what they are teaching in the book on gender roles. They claim that just as the subordination of Jesus to God doesn't make Him lesser, so also the subordination of women to men doesn't make them lesser.

And to be more clear, here is Wayne Grudem's essay on the topic.

Articles for Complementarianism:

God’s Plan For Marriage by Focus On The Family

Indicatives, Imperatives, and Applications: Reflections on Natural, Biblical, and Cultural Complementarianism by CBMW

How A Head Loves A Body by Joe Rigney for Desiring God. In this, Rigney claims that women are the garden where men plant their seed, and that women are the moon that reflect the light of the sun, the man…

What Is The Difference? book by John Piper at Desiring God

Complementarianism- A Man Made Doctrine? by CBMW

The Trinity in Grudem's Second Edition by Denny Burke- president of CBMW

The Subordination and Equality of Women by John MacArthur (John says in general all women are to have a spirit of submission to all men).

Death To The Patriarchy? by Kevin DeYoung (here is a wonderful response to this)

Biblical Womanhood in Five Minutes by John Piper

The Complementarity of Women and Men Philosophy Theology Psychology Art Book Review

How Are Men and Women Different? by Kevin DeYoung for 9Marks

In this article, 3 Ways Men Can Love Their Wives In Real Life, Kevin DeYoung frames 'sacrifice' as "taking care of the kids, participating joyfully in something she likes to do, overlooking an offense, running errands, fixing something around the house, cleaning up the house". I prefer to call those things "love, being an adult, and being a parent".

Man and Woman in Creation by Alastair Roberts for 9Marks

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood-or Christlikeness? by Jonathan Leeman for 9Marks

The Unique Matter of Manhood-Focus on the Family

The Godly Wife | Crossway Articles

It is also posited that this teaching is a "gospel issue" and while perhaps a secondary issue, it affects first tier teachings, effectively making it a first tier issue...

Complementarianism As A Second Order Doctrine

Why Complementarianism Is A Gospel Issue

(Here is a great rebuttal to the above two links, by R. Scott Clark)

Elisabeth Elliot is a very prominent teacher of Complementarianism. Her books, Passion and Purity, and Let Me Be A Woman are very influential, as is Elliot herself.

I appreciated these articles concerning Elliot and her teaching.

three-things-you-probably-forgot-were-in-elisabeth-elliots-let-me-be-a-woman

on-elisabeth-elliots-terrible-courtship-and-dating-men-sold-out-for-Jesus

*(I feel as if I should have a disclaimer to say that I don't necessarily disagree with everything in some of these books or articles. However, the focus of many seems off and much is extrapolated from the texts that isn't there. Also, as a Reformed woman, some of these articles are from non Reformed sources and because they are not coming from a covenantal understanding of Scripture, I disagree with their premise.)

These are Responses to ESS:

A Response to Strachan by Reformation 21

Another Thirteen Evangelical Theologians Who Affirm ESS by Reformation 21

Eternal Subordination of the Son and Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology by Rachel Green Miller

Eternal Subordination of the Son and the ESV Translation by Rachel Green Miller

Grudem and Ware Double Down on ESS by Aquilla Report

Does the Son Eternally Submit to the Father? by Glenn Butner at Credo Magazine

1517 | Eternal Subordination

ESS, Slavery, and the Metaphysics of Oppression by Brad Mason

Does Eternal Subordination Compromise Biblical Orthodoxy? by Matthew Barrett and Liam Goligher

Undivided Trinity by The Aquilla Report

Ufilas or ESS

Simply Trinity with Matthew Barrett by Theology Gals

The Trinity ESS/EFS with Glenn Butner by Theology Gals

Reformation Day, The Trinity, and the Culture War by Heidelblog

A Response to Grudem's Appeal To Hodge on Eternal Subordination by Heidelblog

Hierarchy- Subordination Vs Headship and Household Mission by Aquilla Report

New Adventures of Old Trinitarian Heresies by Tabletalk Magazine

Patrick's Bad Analogies

Portion of Nicene creed

“And I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord and giver of life;
who proceeds from the Father and the Son;
who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified;
who spoke by the prophets.”

Athanasian creed

“That we worship one God in Trinity, and Trinity in Unity;
neither confounding the persons, nor dividing the substance.
For there is one person of the Father, another of the Son, and another of the Holy Spirit.
But the Godhead of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit is all one, the glory equal, the majesty co-eternal.

Such as the Father is, such is the Son, and such is the Holy Spirit.
The Father uncreate, the Son uncreate, and the Holy Spirit uncreate.
The Father incomprehensible, the Son incomprehensible, and the Holy Spirit incomprehensible.
The Father eternal, the Son eternal, and the Holy Spirit eternal.
And yet they are not three eternals, but one eternal.
As also there are not three uncreated nor three incomprehensibles, but one uncreated and one incomprehensible.
So likewise the Father is almighty, the Son almighty, and the Holy Spirit almighty; and yet they are not three almighties, but one almighty.
So the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Holy Spirit is God; and yet they are not three Gods, but one God.
So likewise the Father is Lord, the Son Lord, and the Holy Spirit Lord; and yet they are not three Lords, but one Lord.

For like as we are compelled by the Christian verity to acknowledge every person by himself to be God and Lord; so are we forbidden by the catholic religion to say, “There are three Gods or three Lords”.
The Father is made of none, neither created nor begotten.
The Son is of the Father alone; not made, nor created, but begotten.
The Holy Spirit is of the Father and of the Son; neither made, nor created, nor begotten, but proceeding.
So there is one Father, not three Fathers; one Son, not three Sons; one Holy Spirit, not three Holy Spirits.
And in this Trinity none is afore, or after another; none is greater, or less than another.
But the whole three persons are co-eternal, and co-equal.

So that in all things, as aforesaid, the Unity in Trinity and the Trinity in Unity is to be worshipped.

He therefore that will be saved must thus think of the Trinity.”

More Random Comp articles:

Love and Respect: Basics for Marriage by Doug Wilson

Complementarianism for Dummies TGC

Killing Feminism with Biblical Womanhood an interview with Rebekah Merkle by Dale Partridge

Husbands, Get Her Ready for Jesus | Desiring God

Prophet, Priest, and King: The High Calling of Christian Husbands | Desiring God

The Second Eve: How Christian Women Undo the Curse | Desiring God

Is Jael a Model Woman? Feminine Fight in a Feminist Age | Desiring God

How Satan Undoes a Mom: Spiritual War in Motherhood | Desiring God

Counsel for Wives with Harsh Husbands | Desiring God

This FB post is for the purpose of showing the logical outcome of so firmly believing that men are the head and spiritual authority and leader and women must submit and are easily deceived. This isn't the only story and I will try to add as I remember them and can link.

Key Differences Between Male and Female by Focus on the Family

Love and Respect

A Concerning Article about Voddie Bucham

The Masculinity of Christ In The Face of Effeminate Christianity by Dale Partridge

Complementarians believe and teach that men are to have authority over women because of creation order. Men are to lead spiritually and in all other ways. Women submit because they were created second and from the man for the man, not from dirt. Men control and dominate. Women receive and submit. And somehow this is also applicable in sex. Men having sex is most important, and women are to be available whenever the husband "needs" her, and not "defraud" him. Having sex when she doesn't want to, or even giving sexual favors when she cannot have intercourse is seen as submission to him. Her pleasure is seen as secondary to his need. Sex is seen as an authority and submission issue. Or a love and respect issue.

A Review of Married Sex by Gary Thomas

A Book Review of Married Sex by Gary Thomas from To Love, Honor, & Vacuum

Nancy Wilson on a Wife's Sexual Needs

Please Read The Great Sex Rescue for more

Helpful Resources:

Finding Common Ground-Can Complementarians and Egalitarians Flourish Together?

One of, if not the best articles I have read on this entire topic:

Subordinating Jesus and Women (and how evangelical teachers lead us astray)

The Definition of Complementarianism by Rachel Green Miller

Men and Women by The Glory Cloud Podcast

Christian Marriage, Headship and Ephesians 5 - Pastor Todd Bordow — Theology Gals

Loving Our Neighbors and Biblical Sexual Ethics Theology Gals with Pastor Todd Bordow

Imagine a Marriage of Liberty by Sam Powell at My Only Comfort

The Meaning of Manhood by Phillip Holmes

Discussion About Sanctification by Theology Gals

Gender Role and Identity in Christ by Gospel Gal

Natural Theology and Ontology by Theology Gals

On Ontology And Male-Female Relations | The Heidelblog

Responding to Criticisms Regarding Ontology, Feminism, Nature, and Grace by R. Scott Clark

Summer, Sanctification, and our Serpent by Gospel Gal

Is Patriarchy Biblical? Part 1 by Theology Gals

Is Patriarchy Biblical? Part 2 by Theology Gals

Q&A Men and Women in Family, Church and Society

Masculine and Feminine in the Church

Men, Women & Gender Roles (Part 1) Glory Cloud Podcast

Men, Women & Gender Roles (Part 2)

Women & Church Leadership Glory Cloud Podcast

Christian Marriage and the New Covenant Glory Cloud Podcast

Myths and Mistakes About Gender Roles Through Church History Glory Cloud Podcast

Concerns With Complementarianism Theology Gals

Jesus and Gender Part 1 interview of Theology Gals with Eric Shumacher and Elyse Fitzpatrick

Jesus and Gender Part 2 interview of Theology Gals with Eric Shumacher and Elyse Fitzpatrick

Disembodied Sexuality: Why Christians Need to Return to a Corporeal Concept of Sexuality — Daughters of Sarah

Material Girls ... And Guys! Why a Corporeal View of Sexuality Doesn't Equal Gnosticism — Daughters of Sarah

Imagine A Marriage of Liberty by Sam Powell at My Only Comfort

Inside the Church That Preaches ‘Wives Need to Be Led with a Firm Hand’

Review of "It's Good To Be A Man"

Extended Review of "It's Good To Me A Man"

What Does Doug Wilson Believe?

Husband's Aren't To Get Wives Ready For Jesus by To Love, Honor, & Vacuum

The Ultimate Flaw in Love and Respect by To Love, Honor, & Vacuum

A Question for Wilson Fans by Rachel Green Miller at A Daughter of the Reformation

Sexual Abuse Is Inevitable in Patriarchy

Woman Created For Man (1 Corinthians 11:9) In A Nutshell by Marg Mowczko

Plutarch and Paul On Men And Women And Marriage by Marg Mowczko

Is Sanctification Monergistic or Synergistic? Why It Matters

More Helpful Resources:

Simply Trinity by Matthew Barrett

Gospel Gal Blog/Podcast

Theology Gals

Heidelcast or Heidelblog

The Glory Cloud Podcast

To Love, Honor, & Vacuum

Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Du Mez

(I do not agree with everything in this book, and it isn't presented in a manner that offers a solution, but rather it is written almost like a history book, as Du Mez is a History Professor. It is still relevant and helpful in this discussion)

Jesus and Gender by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Shumacher

Worthy by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Shumacher

Recovering From Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Aimee Byrd

(I’m adding this addendum to this recommendation. Because I love Aimee and her work, but appreciate this clarifying warning as well.)

Aimee Byrd (Wasn’t) Promoting Feminism [updated] by Kerry Baldwin for Mere Liberty

The Sexual Reformation by Aimee Byrd

Beyond Authority and Submission by Rachel Green Miller

Untwisting Scripture 4 book series by Rebecca Davis