My Quiet Place

 

My Quiet Place

My family sits to watch tv

But there can be no rest for me.

I sit then hear the call

Of the toddler screaming in the hall.

While I’m up I check the oven

Cuz food is how I show my lovin’. 

Then the kitchen needs a scrub

From cooking all the grub.

My butt hits the chair once more

But my brain reminds me of my chores.

Is the kitchen clean? The dog in?

Is there laundry in the washer again? 

My mind decides to flip through 

The very long list of things to do. 

I need to make a menu and feel

Overwhelmed by making meals.

Bed time comes at last! 

I want to just relax

With the man of my dreams

But my mind won’t quit, it seems.

Did I lock the door? 

Leave the basement lights on once more?

My husband nuzzles me close and sighs

But I hear music when I close my eyes…

There is always a song playing in my head

Even when I’m lying down in bed. 

I want to be present with my man 

But my mind wanders and I doubt I can.

Am I pretty enough for his eyes?

Can I hide or wear a disguise?

Mentally I can pretend to be

Someone that is much more pretty.

I hate my thinning hair, my gut, 

My acne prone skin and big butt. 

Is he happy with me or does he also worry

That I don’t have legs like Annie Murphy?

My brain convinces me that it’s my fault

That I look the way I do- like a dolt,

And that if I ate more clean and green

I’d be worth being seen. 

Which brings me to think of food…

What will dinner be that’s good? 

Will I need to thaw the meat

To have our meal ready to eat? 

Sleep finally overtakes me, but dreams

Keep my mind busy all night it seems. 

Morning comes and there is light, 

But my brain is putting up a fight. 

I want to study, to learn and grow, 

I want to love God with mind and soul. 

I want to know all the things but yet 

Can’t get the fog to clear from my head. 

Coffee. Food. Please brain, awake! 

How much longer will it take? 

I want to give Him my very best,

I want to read God’s Word and rest. 

My soul longs for the Lord

And to spend time in His word.

But with every line my brain

Goes to all I need to do again. 

Homeschool is finally underway,

As we begin our day. 

The fog begins to lift 

And my mind no longer seems to drift.

I find time to read a verse or two,

Then a bit of a book or a blog view 

On the gospel and the law, abuse, 

Or the covenant that’s not just for Jews.

I desire to know it all! I need

To understand, and so I read.

But soon thoughts are swirling in my head

That distract from what I’ve read.

But then I look at my family.

My mind quiets to thanking Thee

Of all you have given me

And all the gifts of grace and mercy.

I step outside and tears fill my eyes 

As I look at the beauty and the skies.

The creation tells of your glory

And it begs me to think of the story

Of how you made it all and it was good!

And I see You as I walk through the woods.

The golden, ruby, and amber leaves fall

And all I can think is how you made it all. 

And in the stillness of this moment, I

Find my mind quiet and begin to cry.

God, you are so good, and kind,

To give me this to cleanse my mind.

No longer am I thinking of all I need to do,

But am simply resting, worshipping You. 

Creation is my safe and quiet place

To rest and seek Your face.