Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: Good Goal, or Distraction?

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: Good Goal, or Distraction?

by Jennifer Moodie

10/1/22

In today's climate, the push for Masculinity and Femininity, or Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (MF/BM&W), is very very strong. It's everywhere. Books are being published on the topic. Books and articles are written on how to raise your children to be in the "role" (i.e. gender role) God has supposedly placed them in. 

I was listening to a great podcast recently on the topic of the Law and Gospel. Something that came to mind as I was listening was how this relates to the “biblical manhood/womanhood/masculinity and femininity” part of complementarianism. As far as I can tell, it is all law. It lacks gospel. It says “you are justified, but now here is a second stage of works- do ___ to be masculine/feminine and if you don’t then you are in sin”. It comes across as a sort of synergistic sanctification.

In other words, "God saved you, now you work to be a good man/woman". And if men and women are sanctified differently, then how in the world is Jesus a perfect example for men AND women? If Jesus is the perfect example of masculinity (of which Dale Partridge and others claim), then who is the perfect example of femininity? And if Christ is both, then….well… that seems to blow the need for the teaching of biblical manhood and womanhood/masculinity and femininity out of the water, right? Then we only need teach Christlikeness? Right?!? RIGHT?!? The fruit of the spirit is a gift of God to us. It is God’s working in us… not us working with God.

Complemarianism’s teaching on roles is works without gospel- it says “do this, be this, act like this” without saying “Christ did it for you!! Look to Christ!”

I don't know... These are thoughts that have been in my head for a very long time that also came up while listening to this podcast episode. Great episode and I encourage you to listen.

Anyway, with that said, here are some more thoughts that have come to mind as I think about this topic.

• Do this and live…this teaching is pure law without any gospel. This teaching of masculinity and femininity is pure law and is gospel-less. It omits that Christ “did” for us. He is what we cannot be; he was the perfect man whose life, death, resurrection and ascension was enough for men and women. His life is enough for men & women.  HC Q60: How are you righteous before God? A: Only by true faith in Jesus Christ; that is, although my conscience accuse me, that I have grievously sinned against all the commandments of God, and have never kept any of them, and am still prone always to all evil; yet God without any merit of mine, of mere grace, grants and imputes to me the perfect satisfaction, righteousness, and holiness of Christ, as if I had never committed nor had any sin, and had myself accomplished all the obedience which Christ has fulfilled for me; if only I accept such benefit with a believing heart. -How can this be if Christ came as a man, but men and women are sanctified differently? Should we not then also need a female example to follow, and a female savior? -  Ep. 51 – Do This And Live | The Pactum

• MF/BM&W teaches a sort of prosperity Gospel. It says A (man's good leadership) + B (female submission) = C (a happy marriage and a healthy culture). It completely lacks the gospel. It is all law. It says "do this and be blessed" as if we actually can do it without Christ. The gospel tells us of the perfect life, death, burial, and ascension of Jesus for the remission of our sins. He came as a baby, lived a perfect life in our place, paid the penalty we owed, is sanctifying us to His image, and will one day return and make all things new. But the prosperity gospel is a brazen version of the theology of glory. I have written more on the prosperity gospel as it relates to purity culture here. Which leads me to...

• This teaching can be taught to the unsaved because we are emphasizing things apart from Christ and conformity to Him. To emphasize masculinity and femininity apart from Christ and His finished work for us is to place our identity in something other than Christ. Therefore the unsaved, those who don't have Christ, can then conform to this teaching. It doesn't need the gospel. It also reeks of dominionism. This article from 9Marks actually states that Christlikeness isn't enough. The author posits that without teaching manhood and womanhood,  "Christlikeness becomes generalized, non-specific, colorless and genderless." He even says it is antinomian. 

• To continue the point above, MF/BM&W places our identity in something other than Christ. We mock the LGBTQ+ community for doing exactly that, but then we go on to vehemently teach that our identity in our masculinity and femininity is paramount. So either our identity is in our gender or it isn't. And we wonder why our kids are having identity crisis. We push gender roles and stereotypes so harshly, trying to make people fit into our gender boxes that when someone doesn't fit it, they are mocked or forced into that mold. I have written on this more here. Please take the time to read to better understand my position. (And for the record, I do believe in only male and female genders and that God created us only in those two, and we cannot change them. Just so I am not misunderstood.) Rick Marrs says in his book, Making Christian Counseling More Christ Centered, "We humans tend to look for our identity in earthly things: what we do, in our jobs, in our families, in our communities. Yet...the core of our human identity is in our Gospel God....Ultimately, only the Gospel of Jesus Christ reveals to us our true identity..."

• MF/BM&W teaches that the male gender is more like Christ because he was “masculine”, which excludes Him from being an example for women, and ignores the ways God is described with “feminine” traits- hen gathering her chicks under her wings, gentle and lowly, meek…God is neither masculine nor feminine because He transcends gender, and men and women both were made in the image of God. Men aren’t somehow a better image because they are men, nor are women some sort of deformed image.  I think where it gets “muddy”, unhelpful, and confusing is that almost no one would say that women are “less than” men. But in practice, when women are always under men, always under their authority and have no authority of their own, are always the only one submitting, and the men always are the decision makers and tie-breakers, then in reality, women ARE less than the men. It cannot be both. Either we are equal, or women are subservient to men. Jesus submitting to the Father in no way makes him lesser, but the Son also has the same will as the Father. He wasn’t submitting because that was His “role” but because it was the will of the Father and it was also the will of the Son in the plan of redemption for His people. There is a difference between the submission of the Son to the Father and the submission being pushed on women to men. This teaching also seems to be idealized and doesn't factor in sin; it assumes men and women all have pure hearts and good intentions...but if one is teaching this apart from the gospel, that is absolutely impossible. 

• Which leads me to the point that this teaching enforces hierarchy. Paul says in Galatians 3 that there is no male or female. This isn't saying we don't have genders, but in the context of the verse and the passage, he is saying that there is no hierarchy in the body of Christ because we are all one. In Complementarianism teaching, our gender roles are defined by hierarchy- men lead and women submit. I have written more about this here and here as well. Marg Mowczko I think does a good job here explaining more about mutual submission, which is stated in Eph. 5:21. To directly contradict this, here is Greg Morse in Desiring God comparing equality to the sins of Korah....The Dark Side of Equality.

• What about the armor of God? Isn't that warrior and war imagery? According to MF/BM&W that is not feminine. Men are the warriors, leaders, defenders, protectors, and well....women are not or they are masculine. So how does a woman wear the armor of God? I'll tell you- God places it on her, she doesn't put it on herself. Same as men. Therefore I don't see a masculine or feminine way to wear the armor of God described in the Bible. 

• It adds gender roles and gender stereotypes to the Fruit of the Spirit. Read articles directed toward men, and then those directed toward women. They often focus on differing Fruits of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control for her... and then maybe love and goodness, perhaps faithfulness for him mixed with many other things that aren't listed. It is so often very one sided. Which is a shame because they are ALL meant for both men and women. I mean, Jesus did he was gentle and lowly. Oh so many things that I have read lack any gospel, but could be followed by those apart from Christ. 

• This teaching is a form of legalism. And, I might add, a form of synergistic sanctification (I highly recommend reading this article to better understand whether sanctification is monergistic or synergistic and why it matters). It adds to the gospel and sanctification (which is a part of salvation) by adding works and roles to it. It undermines the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. There is a form of synergistic sanctification by claiming the husband sanctifies his wife and the wife sanctifies her husband. The husband sanctifies his wife by getting her ready for Jesus, or by washing her with the water of the word, so he can present her without spot or wrinkle. However, this idea, taken from Ephesians 5:25-27, is discussing Jesus preparing His church, not husbands preparing their wives. In verse 28 it says "In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies." So the previous verses are speaking of how Christ loves His church, His body, and then it goes to say that is an example to husbands. That passage isn't in any way a command to do what only Christ can do, but an example of love. The entire book of Galatians dispels the entire teaching of anything other than Christ in me, for me, and through me. 1 Corithians 2:2 "For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." 

• Claiming the husband is the spiritual head, or leader, completely denies the priesthood of the believer and that men AND women are united in Christ's body as one. How do those proponents of MF/BM&W explain women such as Anna the prophetess, Jael, the Egyptian midwives, Deborah, Corrie Ten Boom, Gladys Aylward, Ann Judson, Darlene Rose, and Harriet Tubman? Women who exemplified “masculine” traits such as leadership, protection, courage and bravery, and lack of submission to authority, particularly to men? Perhaps that will be another article series another day…..

• BM&W is a form of self-righteousness. It is introspective. It keeps us looking to ourselves to see if we are staying in our 'role' or being _____ enough. When are we feminine enough? Masculine enough? Leading enough? Submissive enough? My friend Joy says it wonderfully here in her latest blog post, The Christian's Daily Affirmation, "Anytime I look to myself to self-justify, all I get is anxiety.  I can rest in Christ's character for me though. He is everything that is good, right, and true. He gives me Himself."  Joy goes on to give the gospel so clearly, and discusses our righteous state before God. It is such a sweet blessing and I encourage you all to read.

This article, The Bottoming Out of the American Evangelical Church, does a great job of discussing law and gospel, and the theology of glory vs theology of the cross. It is a response to the article, The Six Way Fracturing of Evangelicalism, which is also worth the read. 

So, why do I think we should not be teaching, biblical manhood and womanhood and masculinity and femininity? Is it because I think it is bad? No. It is because it is law… It can be conjured up by those without the fruit of the spirit. Non Christians can be “masculine or feminine” but only those in Christ have the fruit of the Spirit. Masculinity and femininity are pure law that lacks gospel. They are a form of self righteousness. The way people are defending this teaching so ardently and vehemently is telling to me. Is our identity in Christ or in our gender? It cannot be both. 

When I criticize a system, they think I criticize them – and that is of course because they fully accept the system and identify themselves with it.

~Thomas Merton

HC Q60: How are you righteous before God?

A: Only by true faith in Jesus Christ; that is, although my conscience accuse me, that I have grievously sinned against all the commandments of God, and have never kept any of them, and am still prone always to all evil; yet God without any merit of mine, of mere grace, grants and imputes to me the perfect satisfaction, righteousness, and holiness of Christ, as if I had never committed nor had any sin, and had myself accomplished all the obedience which Christ has fulfilled for me; if only I accept such benefit with a believing heart.

HC Q61: Why do you say that you are righteous by faith only?

A: Not that I am acceptable to God on account of the worthiness of my faith, but because only the satisfaction, righteousness and holiness of Christ is my righteousness before God and I can receive the same and make it my own in no other way than by faith only.

HC Q62: But why cannot our good works be the whole or part of our righteousness before God?

A: Because the righteousness which can stand before the judgment-seat of God, must be perfect throughout and wholly conformable to the divine law; but even our best works in this life are all imperfect and defiled with sin.

HC Q63: Do our good works merit nothing, even though it is God's will to reward them in this life and in that which is to come?

A: The reward comes not of merit, but of grace.

HC Q64: But does not this doctrine make men careless and profane?

A: No, for it is impossible that those who are implanted into Christ by true faith, should not bring forth fruits of thankfulness.

HC Q65: Since then we are made partakers of Christ and all His benefits by faith only, from where comes this faith?

A: The Holy Spirit works faith in our hearts by the preaching of the Holy Gospel, and confirms it by the use of the Holy Sacraments.